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5 Holiday Meal Planning Fears on Film (aka, It Could Be Much Worse)

11/26/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com Leave a Comment

5. The Meal Scars Your Company: Better Off Dead (1985)
Take comfort in the quality of your cooking after watching (a) Lane’s (John Cusack’s) mother boil bacon just days before her holiday feast and (b) Lane accidentally passing a guest primer instead of liquor.

BetterOffDead
4. Your Guests Never Show: Dinner at 8 (1933)

Your guests will never be as distracted as those invited to Millicent’s (Billie Burke’s) pretentious dinner party. Watching their disastrous lives unfold the day of the event makes you question (a) why she’d want to see them and (b) what could make all this stress worthwhile. It’s not a holiday film, but Burke’s nervous fluttering and what-was-I-thinking speech reminded me of all the times I unwisely agreed to plan a social event.

Hostess Flipping Out

3. The Oven/Power Goes Out: Pieces of April (2003)
I live in New England, where power is never a certainty, so watching April (Katie Holmes) improvise when her oven fails her is inspiring in this sweet, funny, and frequently heartbreaking film with Holmes as a sweet daughter who can never satisfy her mom (Patricia Clarkson).

KatieHolmesPiecesofApril
(In fact, my power went out yesterday, and last year at Thanksgiving too, in a cruel joke against my neighbors with stacked fridges and visitors en route.)

2. Old Family Wounds Fester: Home for the Holidays (1995)

HomeforHolidays
Three siblings squabble in this hilarious Thanksgiving delight. Holly Hunter is charming; Robert Downey, Jr. hilarious, moving, and annoying in equal measures; and Cynthia Stevenson both cruel and empathetic in her disconnection to her more lighthearted siblings. Add Anne Bancroft as the mother and Henry Larson as the father, and you’ll wonder how you missed this howlingly funny, yet poignant tribute to family.

1. The Mother from Hell Arrives: The Ref (1994)
In my favorite holiday movie, thief Denis Leary runs interference with a divorce-bound couple, played by Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey, in performances that rival those in War of the Roses (1989). You will think no two people can be more comically cruel to one another, until Spacey’s mother (Glynis Johns) arrives.

Glynis Johns-TheRef
There you have it: Cinematic proof that no matter how awful your Thanksgiving turns out, it could have been much, much worse.

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Posted in: 1930s films, 1980s films, 1990-current films, Comedies (film), Drama (film), Humor Tagged: disastrous dinners, family squabbling, Film, holiday dinners, Thanksgiving fears

Elle King Wrote Mae West’s Theme Song

11/14/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com Leave a Comment

voluptuousMaeWestImNoAngel
When my husband told me he’d heard Mae West’s theme song on the radio, I asked for an explanation; instead, he played me Elle King’s “Ex’s and Oh’s”:

“Ex’s and the oh, oh, oh’s they haunt me
Like ghosts they want me to make ’em all
They won’t let go
Ex’s and oh’s”*

And of course, I understood. Mae West could have written those very words. In every West film, and in her own descriptions of her life, all the men are after her…

MaeWestandhermenImnoAngel
And she’s not exactly clingy with them: “All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.”

In “Ex’s and Oh’s”, all men want the singer because she’s “the best baby that they never gotta keep.” They “always wanna come, but they never wanna leave.” Sounds like West, huh?: “Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for years.”

Of course, when I heard the song, I instantly pictured Mae West surrounded by a throng of half-naked men. Apparently, King had the same thought when planning her video:

ElleKingandhermen
It’s hard to describe just how funny this video is: men wrestling over her, an obsessive climbing over rocks to get to her, two models on a see saw, Elle spraying nearly naked men with a hose, her kicking one out of a car because she’s done with him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a video so blatantly objectifying men–even Madonna’s. My favorite? The underwear-clad headstanders she dances around as she plays guitar:

ElleKingandHeadstandmodels
The singer profiles certain affairs to illustrate her commitment phobia: “I had a summer lover down in New Orleans/Kept him warm in the winter, left him frozen in the spring.” The men longing for her are “climbing over mountains and a-sailing over seas.” Like West, who characterized marriage as a “last resort,” there’s no celebration of eternal love here–just of eternal lust.

King is more than just a performer. She co-wrote the song, just as West wrote her screenplays. The two temptresses even resemble each other: both voluptuous, blue-eyed blondes with lovely, pale skin:

ElleKingexes
I don’t know that West was one of King’s inspirations, but certainly, the two are united in spirit. I hope King’s enjoying West’s films right now, and that all of you West admirers check out this catchy, clever song, and the hilarious video that goes with it.

This post is part of my monthly West moment series.

*Yes, it bothers me too that a writer would think these apostrophes correct. Try to ignore them.

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Posted in: 1930s films, 1940s films, Feminism, Humor, Mae West Moments, Random, TV & Pop Culture Tagged: "Ex's and Oh's", Elle King, Film, Mae West, theme song, video

5 Classic Film Costume Ideas–& What They’ll Be Mistaken for

10/27/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 2 Comments

Inspired a fashion blogger’s posts on Halloween options, I started thinking about potential costumes from classic film. I have recs for those of you stuck for ideas. Sure, your peers who don’t know the classics will mistake the character you’re playing, but if the costume is sharp, fun, or clever, who cares? Here are five suggestions:

Gilda‘s Carnivàle Outfit

RitaCarnivaleoutfit-Gilda
The heroine’s (Rita Hayworth’s) stylish get-up has two major advantages:

  1. It’s fabulous.
  2. It has wonderful accessories:

GildaCarnivaleaccessories
You’ll Likely Be Mistaken for:
Zorro’s love interest

Jezebel‘s Red Dress

Jezebel-BetteDavis
Who hasn’t wanted to wear the dress that stops everyone short? And what gown in film had more impact than the one that branded Julie (Bette Davis) a fallen woman in front of her whole society? Plus, the dress is gorgeous.

You’ll Likely Be Mistaken for: A devil without her pitchfork, a bad angel sans wings, or just a gal who wants an excuse to wear an Oscars dress

The Disastrous Dress from Rebecca

RebeccaJoanFontaine
The gown is a bit frilly, but putting on Rebecca’s character for the creepiest night of the year? Yeah, you could get into that. Of course, you could play it meek too, acting as the narrator, since both pick the same dress for the masquerade. Up to you. Some crinoline, a hat, some flowery details–you’ll have it.

You’ll Likely Be Mistaken for: Scarlett O’Hara (It’s a poofy dress. Who else could you be?)

Phyllis Dietrichson from Double Indemnity

PhyllisDoubleIndemnity-Stanywck1
This is the budget option. As any smart Halloween shopper will tell you, you should skip the all-in-one packages in the costume store, and take a tour down the accessory aisle. Anyone can discover a sweater set or fussy dress at home or in the vintage shop. And it isn’t hard to find a wretchedly, embarrassingly bad blonde wig for less than twenty bucks, or some gloriously tacky jewelry. You might even have some from last year’s festivities. Just don’t forget those crazy feminine shoes–and, of course, the anklet:

PhyllisankletDoubleIndemnity
The best part? If you wear a wig–any wig–on Halloween, you really can’t go wrong.

You’ll Likely Be Mistaken for: George Washington or his wife Martha in modern gear (as was Barbara Stanwyck).

Shanghai Lily

ShanghaiExpress
If you don’t gush over the fashions in Shanghai Express, head straight to the optometrist. Prostitutes in ’30s Shanghai had quite the budget, if Lily (Marlene Dietrich) is any indication. She’s costumed to the hilt in boas, feathered caps, furs, long gloves, and silk. For any woman who wants glamour in her life, Lily’s style is salivation material.

You’ll Likely Be Mistaken for: A generic femme fatale (close!)

There you have it. Five options for those seeking Halloween inspiration. What are favorites of yours?

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Posted in: 1930s films, 1940s films, Comedies (film), Drama (film), Humor, Random Tagged: classic film, costume ideas, Halloween

My Rita Hayworth Birthday Wish: Everybody Dance

10/17/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 4 Comments

RitaHayworthdance
“Whatever you write about me, don’t make it sad.” – Rita Hayworth

In honor of the Love Goddess’s birthday, I won’t write about her tempestuous love life, her sad past/final years, or her scorching appearance onscreen. I’ll keep it simple: Rita Hayworth is one of the most expressive dancers I’ve ever witnessed, and what she conveyed, over and over again, was joy: The exhilaration of movement, the thrill of twirling and leaping and tapping and sweating. Ginger Rogers showed how lovely a body could be with every twist of her torso; Fred Astaire stretched the limits of the art form, as did Eleanor Powell and Gene Kelly. But none of them made me want to jump on stage and join them like Rita does. Talented as she is, she doesn’t wow me nearly as much as she woos me. Come on! she calls. This is so much fun.

So in honor of her birthday, take a leap, do a jig, do-si-do, tap your feet, pirouette, moonwalk. Even a bit of twerking or the Macarena will do. Don’t worry about your skill–or the lack of it. Just listen to Rita, and dance.

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Posted in: 1940s films, Humor, Random Tagged: dancing, Film, her birthday, Rita Hayworth

The Sexy Men of the Highlands: The Three Stooges?

09/20/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 2 Comments

ThreeStoogesHotScots
Having spent Saturday at the New Hampshire Highland Games & Festival, I’ve got bagpipe music still ringing in my ears, and tartan on the brain. I witnessed feats of strength that included FLIPPING an 130-pound log. Some star from Game of Thrones (aka the Mountain) even set a world record throwing a weight over a high bar, apparently a repeat performance. It looked about as effortless as the rest of us tossing a ping pong ball.

Naturally, I’ve been scanning for Scottish movies in hopes of extending my memories of men in kilts, especially since I don’t have time just now to be swept into Volume 2 of Outlander (whose Jamie, naturally, had a cardboard statue at the Fraser clan tent). Encountering an entry called “Hot Scots” on Wikipedia, I assumed some early Chippendalish, Magic Mike embarrassment was to be found, only to discover that the entry was referencing an episode of The Three Stooges.

Now I don’t think “hot” when I hear the names Moe, Larry, and Shemp. I don’t think I’m alone in that. But, like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers after them, the three sure did excel at making fun of themselves, and that made the episode worth a look.

The plot of the episode is about as flimsy as you’d guess: the stooges decide they want a job at Scotland Yard, and have mistaken a garden cleanup employment ad for an investigative one. After fouling up that simple task, they discover a posting calling for detectives in Scotland, and equip themselves with kilts and Mcs in front of their names for the job. After hearing their accents, their new client inquires what part of Scotland Shemp is from. Moe explains that Shemp is from the south, “below the McMason-McDixon line.”

Their client wants his possessions protected as he’s off at a clan meeting, and of course, the stooges utterly fail to notice his entire staff taking everything he owns. There’s even a Scooby Doo moment when Shemp fails to notice a masked robber isn’t Larry.

ShempasScooby
And another when Moe thinks he’s still dancing with the client’s comely assistant, and is actually doing a reel with her scary accomplice.

MoeandThief
The episode, of course, is saturated with silly sound effects and the stooges whacking each other with sticks and clubs. I’m not a huge stooges fan–their humor is a little too exclusively physical for me–but somehow, the style is so suitable for the weird way we celebrate the Scottish, and the many spills reminded me of my favorite scene from Mike Myers’ comedies: The infamous “We have a piper down!”  wedding clip from So I Married an Axe Murder.

Give “Hot Scots” a try if you want a break from work or the news this week. You can find it on Amazon Instant, The Three Stooges Collection, 1946-48, Episode 15, and of course, YouTube. I think we can all use some silliness about now…

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Posted in: 1940s films, Comedies (film), Humor, Random Tagged: Hot Scots, Mike Myers, Outlander, Scooby Doo moment, The Highland Games, The Mountain Game of Thrones, The Three Stooges, We have a piper down

A Legacy of Self-Amusement: Drew & John Barrymore

08/13/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 19 Comments

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Charlie’s Angels
(2000) is the epitome of how seriously Drew Barrymore takes herself: the hair flips, the silly punk rock past of her character, action sequences so absurdly, self-consciously over-the-top that they make you smile.

Playfulness seems to be Barrymore ‘s signature, what distinguishes her from her lesser rom-com peers. So it wasn’t surprising that this was a film she chose to produce, an ode to a dumb TV show celebrating sexism/female empowerment/both (depending on your point of view).

The show (1976-81)– for those younger folks out there–featured a wealthy but reserved guy (Charlie), who hired three beautiful detectives (the angels) for his agency. All we ever got of Charlie was his voice, as he never appeared in person and let all arrangements be managed by his assistant, Bosley. The term ‘angel,’ use of possessive, Charlie’s condescending voice, the quick rotations of actresses for the roles (suggesting they were interchangeable)—any of the four could make a feminist cringe. But the women were tough and smart, using their looks to blindside unwary men, much as Columbo used his folksiness.

The film is both a parody and tribute, using the TV show’s theme music, graphics, and basic concept, but mocking the silliness of it too. Cameron Diaz plays the supposed airhead (Natalie) to perfection. Lucy Liu takes on the kind of tough role she always plays, even imitating a dominatrix/efficiency expert in one ploy as detective Alex. As Dylan, Barrymore mocks the over-the-top femininity of her predecessors by embracing a badass, punk rock aesthetic. The strange connection the women have to Charlie is brought to the forefront when their client (Sam Rockwell) suggests that Dylan has daddy issues.

Thinking they get to meet Charlie in person...

Hopeful to meet Charlie in person…

Whatever part she’s in, Barrymore always seems to be playing herself, and part of what keeps us watching her is just how likeable she is, this woman who went through a painful past of abandonment and substance abuse as a kid, and emerged as a woman with empathy for those who contributed to the conditions that put her there. She is both the most tender of the three actresses onscreen—Barrymore always captures vulnerability effectively—and the most sarcastic. Perhaps hers is an earned playfulness, but Barrymore wears it lightly. (How else could you repeatedly perform with Adam Sandler, and more bafflingly, not only star with, but marry Tom Green? Tom Green!) While her acting never wows me, she does.

In Drew’s performances, I don’t see much of her forebears, that famous acting dynasty whose members mesmerize audiences still today. Only in her youthful roles did I ever see traces of the Barrymore family’s skill with drama. I would argue that Irreconcilable Differences (1984); an underrated film about a girl who wants to separate from her narcissistic, divorced parents (in an eerie foreshadowing of Barrymore’s own decision years later); was her strongest dramatic role. Perhaps it just was a part she knew really, really well.

But usually, the actress just prefers, and does better, at comedies. Certainly, Drew lacks the intimidation or gravitas of her great-uncle Lionel…

LionelBarrymore
the nuance of her great-aunt Ethel…

EthelBarrymore
or the presence of her grandfather John…

JohnBarrymore
Of course, her troubled past brings to mind her grandfather’s. But it’s in her self-deprecating goofiness that I see the clearest link to the Barrymore dynasty. While it’s certainly not present in all of the Barrymores’ roles, I see it in John’s charming turn in Grand Hotel, and, of course, in his hilarious supporting character in the glorious Midnight (1939). There’s such a lightheartedness to his approach to the role of Georges Flammarion, and though he was already at the cue card stage of his decline, his humor, at least, had not reached the self-parody stage.

John Barrymore in Midnight

John Barrymore in Midnight

Such lightheartedness is key to Dylan’s (Drew Barrymore’s) character, even when she’s in the direst straights. In the best action sequence in Charlie’s Angels, Dylan has been tied up by her sleazy client, Eric Knox (Sam Rockwell), who has betrayed her after sleeping with her, and tried to kill her already. Knox departs to perform his nefarious schemes, leaving her to his five henchmen. After managing to get her lighter back, she spells out what she will do to escape, buying time but also revealing her confidence.

DylanCharliesAngels
As she sits in her chair, she calmly explains, smiling at her adversaries all the while, “By the time this is over, every one of you is gonna be face down on the floor, and I’m gonna moonwalk out of here.”

DrewBarrymoreCharliesAngels
As they rush toward her, she interrupts, looking at each man in turn, “You’re not listening to me. See first, you’re gonna help me out of my chair, and then I’m gonna leapfrog over you, before I break his nose…I’m gonna do all of this with my hands tied behind my back.”

DrewBarrymoreCharliesAngels2
She does exactly what she says:

DrewBarrymorefighting
And her moonwalk is a joy:

DrewBarrymoremoonwalking
You can see the full clip here.

Any actress could have had fun with such a sequence, but there’s so much self-amusement in Drew Barrymore’s portrayal that I kept thinking of her grandfather in Midnight. Sure, he had much more range and talent than she does, but in self-amusement, the two are matched.

This post is part of the Barrymore Trilogy blogathon, hosted by Crystal of In the Good Old Days of Classic Hollywood. See the fantastic entries here!

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Posted in: 1980s films, 1990-current films, Action & Sports Films, Blogathons, Comedies (film), Film Noir/Crime/Thriller & Mystery, Humor, TV & Pop Culture Tagged: Charlie's Angels, Drew Barrymore, John Barrymore, Midnight (1939), movie, satire, spoof

The Man Who Knew Too Little: an Underrated Bill Murray Gem

05/28/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 2 Comments

ManWhoKnewTooLittleMurray
The Man Who Knew Too Little (1997) received a 41% on Rotten Tomatoes. It was panned by critics as only moderately funny. Experts claimed it was undeserving of the talents of Bill Murray, relied on broad stereotypes, and centered around only one gag.

Most of these critiques are true. But the film is also hilarious.

To describe the movie as a parody of The Man Who Knew Too Much (the 1934 or ’56 version) would be a stretch. Call it instead a Hitchcockian parody, and you’ll have it. Hitchcock asked us all what becomes of a civilian when mistaken for a spy (North by Northwest), or thrown into a conspiracy once in contact with one (The Man Who Knew Too Much/The 39 Steps)? Director Jon Amiel and writer Robert Farrar extend the question: “and he is totally oblivious to what’s going on?”

A suspected spy arrives in London

A suspected spy arrives in London

Here’s the tissue-thin plot: Blockbuster employee Wallace Ritchie (Murray) shows up for a surprise visit to London. His brother (Peter Gallagher) sends him to a participant theater act called the Theatre of Life until after his business dinner. Ritchie answers the pay phone call that’s supposed to begin the show. But the call that comes in (a few minutes early) isn’t from the theater, but from the employers of Spencer, a hit man tasked with killing the defense minister’s mistress, Lori (Joanne Whalley). She knows too much about a conspiracy plot to reignite the Cold War and is blackmailing the minister with incriminating letters. Thus begins Ritchie’s confusion: he thinks he’s acting; the bad guys–and Lori–suspect he’s a spy undermining their plans.

Because there is essentially no storyline, Murray is let loose to be the playful, odd guy he seems to be in real life, at least according to encounters with strangers in clubs and in cabs. In fact, I’d argue that in some ways this film is more typical of Murray’s personality than any other: the man knows how to improv his way through life.

As Ritchie, Murray has a blast ripping on a number of tough guy acts–most notably, Clint Eastwood’s. Of course, he mimics “Here’s Johnny” from The Shining. He pauses before saving Lori to put on his sunglasses. He asks for retakes, explains his life of espionage to cops, applauds a corpse for the realism of his acting.

Impressed with a corpse's acting

Impressed with a dead killer’s supposed acting

In a favorite moment, Ritchie creeps out some muggers by sobbing, “I got a couple of kids,” and then, embarrassed by his poor performance, abruptly trying another approach: “You know it’s getting so that decent people can’t even go out on the street anymore without scum like you trying to step on whatever’s decent in this world. Well you know something? Your type are just gonna be the kind of crap that sticks to the bottom of a good man’s loafer.”

Murray faux-beseeching

Murray faux-beseeching

Imagine Murray’s fake crying (pictured above) and his enunciation of “a good man’s loafer,” and you’ll have a hint of just how hysterical this film can be.

The extent to which Ritchie remains deluded stretches belief, of course: he never catches on. But who is looking for realism in an unapologetically silly comedy? And, if we’re being honest, how plausible are Hitchcock spy stories and their ilk (Foul Play, Gotcha!, Frantic, The Tuxedo, etc.)? I think we can agree that all of us would live approximately 5 seconds if mistaken for a spy or harboring the secrets of one, a likelihood this parody clearly asks us to consider.

And truthfully, the film could be about anything. What matters is this: Murray is in almost every scene, and an hour and a half of Murray goofing off is about the best mood elevator I can imagine. I watch this ludicrous flick when I’m blue, scared, angry–and I never stop enjoying it. The critics gave it a 41 percent on Rotten Tomatoes; the audience gave it a 70. As usual, the critics are missing out on the fun to be had here; don’t make the same mistake.

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Posted in: 1990-current films, Comedies (film), Film Noir/Crime/Thriller & Mystery, Humor, TV & Pop Culture Tagged: Bill Murray, The Man Who Knew Too Little

The Nerdiest Scene Ever: Encyclopedia Writers Trumping Gangsters in Ball of Fire

05/16/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 28 Comments

This post is part of the My Favorite Classic Movie Blogathon in celebration of National Classic Movie Day (May 16th). Click here to view the schedule listing all the great posts.

CoopervsDuryea
Nerd alert: I used to sit in the basement, reading my parents’ World Books for fun. I think it started with A Tale of Two Cities. A few hours into the encyclopedia set’s entries on The French Revolution, and Sydney Carton was forgotten.

Now, of course, my addiction is Wikipedia, despite my warning students away from it with Colbert. The other day I attended a Renaissance Faire featuring a pirate show (yes, I know how ridiculous that is), just after reading about Blackbeard in The Smithsonian. The combination led me on a Wikipedia binge on female pirates.

Thus it should be no surprise that a film about professors writing an encyclopedia (and their unexpected romantic interlude with a gangster’s moll) would thrill me. I’ve already explained why Ball of Fire should be viewed by all English majors. Today I’m advocating it for history buffs as well, particularly due to one scene starring the professors, two gangsters, The Sword of Damocles, and the mirrors of Archimedes.

**Spoiler alert.**

For those who’ve never seen the film, here’s the basic plot: Sugarpuss (Barbara Stanwyck), girlfriend to gangster Joe Lilac (Dana Andrews), hides out from the D.A. in the home of the encyclopedia writers, pretending she’s there to help with Professor Potts’s (Gary Cooper’s) entry on slang. Potts falls for and proposes to her, and she (to her great shock) falls for him too. But when her scheming is exposed, Potts lets her leave with Lilac, who needs her “I do” to prevent her from testifying about his crimes.

Sugarpuss knows she’s earned Potts’s disgust, but refuses to marry Lilac, instead explaining her love for the professor. She describes his poor kissing technique, his “giraffe” fashion, and other traits that have somehow inspired her love for him.

Sugarpuss-Stanwyck
“I’ll never see him again,” she tells Lilac, “but I’m not gonna marry you, not if you tie a ton of cement around my neck and throw me into the East River, like you did all the others.”

To force her, Lilac sends two of his henchmen, Pastrami (Dan Duryea) and Anderson (Ralph Peters), to take the professors hostage.

GangstersBallofFire
When Potts discovers how much Sugarpuss loves him, he wants to yodel he’s so happy. His fellow professors share in this enthusiasm, even holding down Pastrami’s gun. The gangster retorts,”Better look out, it’s gonna spit.”

At this exciting juncture, their garbage man arrives with questions on a quiz, including one about the Sword of Damocles. Professor Jerome (Henry Travers–a.k.a., Clarence of It’s a Wonderful Life) explains the legend, realizing its pertinence to their situation: A sword is suspended above the head of Damocles by just a hair, just like the portrait above Pastrami.

SwordofDamoclesstrategy-BallofFire
Jerome’s quick-witted colleagues soon catch the reason for his storytelling. Suddenly, they have a strategy–and perhaps as importantly, hope.

ProfessorsSeeDamoclesBallofFire
After Potts shares another story–Archimedes burning the Roman fleet with well-aimed mirrors–Professor Gurkakoff (Oscar Homolka) moves his microscope so that it’s catching the sunlight, and directs it at the rope above the portrait.

Oscar Homolka-BallofFire
Potts then notices that Anderson is pitched precariously on a high chair.

Ralph Peters-BallofFire
He therefore refers one of his colleagues to a passage that gives him a mission once Pastrami is handled.

Topples-BallofFire
The approach is working. Two of the professors have spotted a carpet they’re ready to pull to topple Anderson, and the fire is burning through the rope above the picture.

Reflectors-Archimedes-BallofFire
Now all the professors need to do is distract the criminals’ attention from the fire. Potts insults the gangsters in a pseudo-intellectual style, beginning a nonsensical speech with “Your inferiority is a question of the bony structure of your skulls.”

Anderson is unaware how truthfully he speaks when he complains, “This mixed-up talk is giving me a headache.” Pastrami argues that guns, not smarts, make the world go round, and proves it by shooting their globe.

Pastrami-Dan Duryea-BallofFire
While this gun play has the whole room worried, it’s Pastrami’s decision to leave his chair that leads to panic. Professor Oddly proposes that Pastrami shoot a dime out of his hand, but only if he returns to his seat. Realizing the risk he’s taking, poor Oddly switches to a quarter, then a 50-cent piece. The tension in the room has obviously reached quite a pitch.

ProfessorsFearful-BallofFire
Oddly’s expression as he waits to lose his hand is priceless:

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Of course, Pastrami is knocked over first.

Portrait starts to fall.
And Anderson falls via the carpet move. Oddly faints–quite theatrically. And the professors rush off in a garbage truck to save Sugarpuss, with Potts studying boxing strategies to use against Lilac en route. With scenes as delightfully geeky and ridiculous as this one, it any wonder that this classic film remains my favorite?

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Posted in: 1940s films, Blogathons, Film Noir/Crime/Thriller & Mystery, Humor, Romantic Comedies (film) Tagged: Ball of Fire, Barbara Stanwyck, Colbert, enclopedia, films for English majors, films for history buffs, Gary Cooper

A Beauty After All: Katharine Hepburn

05/10/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 17 Comments

KatharineHepburn-beautyGoldenPond
This is an entry in the Great Katharine Hepburn blogathon. Check out the marvelous posts on her work.

“I’d rather look like Katharine Hepburn at 80,” Aunt Betty said, looking at the screen, “than myself at 30.” I looked at the old lady on the TV, then back at my aunt, confused. Maybe Betty was ripping on her own looks, as she often did. She couldn’t possibly be serious. As a fourteen-year-old who longed to resemble Helen Slater or Jamie Gertz, I found wanting to look thirty incomprehensible. Eighty?

My teenage definition of beauty

My teenage definition of beauty

My aunt smiled at my bafflement. “Just look at that bone structure,” she explained, pointing at Hepburn. “She’s beautiful.”

Bone structure? That wasn’t on my list of attractive characteristics. I examined Hepburn’s face closely to discover what my aunt saw in it, but those wrinkles distracted me. I felt uneasy, as I always did when adults said something I couldn’t understand. I changed the subject.

I didn’t forget it though. Every time I saw Hepburn, the comment returned. She had always looked old to me. Having seen her first in Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? I could never view her earlier films without seeing the imprint of her older self. Besides, Hepburn was angular, not soft and feminine, like Helen Slater or my earlier womanly ideal, Lynda Carter.

I wasn’t alone, of course, in devaluing Hepburn’s looks. Her employer David O. Selznick had been famous for it. Others, of course, appreciated that bone structure, hence that line about her cheekbones: “The greatest calcium deposits since the White Cliffs of Dover.”

I think I was past thirty myself before I started to understand Betty’s words. Of course, my definition of beauty had expanded by then, but my changing assessment of the actress’s looks was always more complicated than answering pretty or not? First, I noticed Hepburn’s breathless confidence of movement.

GrantandHepburn-Holiday-a
Then there were the clothes that suited her, rather than following any passing fashions. And the parts she chose, roles that could inspire women like me, and like my aunt: athletes, business leaders, pioneers, advocates for women.

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She always imbued these characters with vulnerability as well as strength, helping viewers see powerful females as fully rounded human beings.

Hepburn’s real-life actions demonstrated the same moxie she expressed in film: fighting back after the box office poison label, establishing her own terms with The Philadelphia Story, and then using her new power to ensure good salaries for her Woman of the Year screenwriters.

In her private life, Hepburn managed to say what she wanted, avoid whom she wished, have a long-time affair with a married man without compromising her career. With her spirit, it’s not surprising that she continued to star as a romantic lead even in her forties.

Now I see in that erect posture of hers in her final years, those fierce expressions, her pride in a life well lived.

KatharineHepburn-LoveAffair
How many of us can follow our own standards consistently, passionately, for as many years as she did? No wonder my aunt found Katharine Hepburn so breathtaking at 80. I look at her later performances now, and see the same. Imprinted on Katharine’s Hepburn’s face, her carriage, and even her voice is the caliber of life she lived.

Look at her. Isn’t she beautiful?

KatharineHepburn-posturewFonda

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Posted in: 1930s films, 1940s films, 1950s films, 1980s films, Blogathons, Feminism, Humor, TV & Pop Culture Tagged: beautiful actresses, Katharine Hepburn, spirit

The Hottest Woman around in Her 40s: Mae West’s Age-Defying Career

05/06/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com Leave a Comment

SchumerFeyArquetteDreyfus
Amy Schumer’s hilarious skit about discrimination against middle-aged women in Hollywood has me wondering about Mae West. It’s true that modern films imply that women aren’t attractive enough past their 40s to be worthy of sex onscreen. But Mae West starred in Sextette in 1978; the film cast her as the object of all men’s desires in her eighties. While the movie was a box office failure, the simple fact is that no such film would be made today.

West’s role was hardly surprising, given that she was in her late 30s when her film career as a seductress began. She was, in addition, penning all of her own lines, and usually the whole screenplay. While many (Schumer among them) question why women haven’t made more progress in entertainment, few express the more disturbing possibility:  Have we backtracked?

Mae West was a pioneer, it’s true. But pioneers are usually followed by those who accomplish more. The frontrunner’s courageous example and more hospitable times and environments usually lead to at least some progress. Maybe we all should be examining West, to figure out what this extraordinary writer/actress got right, what she still has to teach us. And why not? Who doesn’t want a regular dose of West?

Since her host of brilliant one liners overpowers me, I’ll highlight just one each month to savor it properly, starting with this bit from My Little Chickadee, co-written by West and W.C. Fields (the following scene is obviously of her creation).

MaeWestchalkboardMyLittleChickadee
The town’s school teacher has fainted after dealing with a class of “unruly” boys. Newcomer Flower Belle (West) has taken over the class for the day, and is attracting all of the hormonal adolescents (in her late 40s, I might add). She checks out the teacher’s lessons on the chalkboard. “I am a good boy,” she reads slowly. “I am a good man. I am a good girl.” She turns to the students: “What is this?” she asks. “Propaganda?”

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Posted in: 1930s films, 1940s films, Feminism, Humor, Mae West Moments, Romantic Comedies (film), TV & Pop Culture Tagged: ageism, Amy Schumer, Hollywood, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Mae West, Patricia Arquette, sexism, Tina Fey
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