Cary Grant Won't Eat You

Classic movies for phobics

  • About
  • eBooks
  • Previous Blogathons
Classic movies for phobics

2020s films

Bite-Sized Film Reviews

11/02/2026 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com Leave a Comment
William Petersen in To Live & Die in LA


I’ve been in a movie review dry spell for quite some time. Since I’m still in its grasp, I’m going to stick to impressions this time around:

Thief (1981). I’m one of those rare people who disliked Heat. The women are annoying one-notes, and it belabors its point too much. I enjoyed how streamlined this story is in contrast. Much like a Coen brother character, the hero has his code, and he’s going to follow it, whatever comes. Single-mindedness can be stunning to watch in a film this focused and brief. Even in his directorial debut, Michael Mann had such a distinctive vision and style. Plus, there’s a bizarre romance and Willie Nelson in a cameo. Recommend.

To Live & Die in LA (1985). I’ve loved William Petersen since Manhunter (a much more haunting film than Heat). What’s striking about this movie is not only the main character’s awful morals but his jaw-droppingly bad judgment throughout. (How hard up was the Secret Service in mid-80s fiction to hire this guy?) The car chase is gasp-worthy. So is Petersen at this age. A fun, often tense viewing. Fast paced and fun and so 80s (check out the preview if you doubt me). Why it took so long for Petersen to be appreciated I’ll never know.

The African Queen (1951). Rewatch. I’d forgotten how terrible the heroine’s brother (played by Robert Morley) was at being a missionary. There’s so much comedy in his sad efforts. Her persistence in helping him despite the terrible odds of his succeeding in a single conversion sets the stage beautifully for her later stubbornness and heroism.

The Roses (2025). Why was this made? The War of the Roses (1989) is hilarious. That “woof” in Kathleen Turner’s delivery alone. This remake is not funny. Or interesting. It has nothing new to say. It’s too safe. The humor’s not bleak enough. It doesn’t take the couple’s extremes nearly as far as it should (especially for anyone who has seen the original). What a waste of funny performers. Danny DeVito, your dark humor and courage were sorely missed here.

The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026). I saw it. I enjoyed it. Kind of. Within 24 hours I’d forgotten the plot and 95% of the scenes.

Somewhere in Time (1980). Rewatch. Richaaaard!!! I will love this film forever.

Share
Posted in: 1950s films, 1980s films, 2020s films, Action & Sports Films, Comedies (film), Drama (film), Film Noir/Crime/Thriller & Mystery Tagged: Michael Mann, Somewhere in Time, The African Queen, The Devil Wears Prada 2, The Roses (2025), Thief (1981), To Live & Die in LA (1985), William Petersen

Oscar Noms 2025: Gems & Duds

03/14/2026 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 6 Comments
Photo of Rose Byrne from If I Had Legs I'd Kick You


Hamnet. Can I say a performance like Jessie Buckley’s is good if it’s just one misery scene after another? I don’t know these characters enough to feel invested in them. The pacing is all wrong. I looked at my watch countless times. What were the slow-mo shots of trees and berries for? I didn’t cry. If I hadn’t known these were depictions of real people, I would have rooted for the plague. This is not the sign of a good movie.

Song Song Blue feels a bit like a Lifetime movie despite the great performances (especially Hugh Jackman’s). The timeline is very misleading. But I thought it affecting, which is more than I can say for Hamnet.

One Battle After Another. It’s an action movie. It’s a satire. It’s a comedy. And it all works. Fantastic acting, biting commentary about the current moment (not easy to pull off), an actually original car chase. the star-making turn of Teyana Taylor. It’s a movie I instantly wanted to rewatch despite its length. I don’t always like Paul Thomas Anderson. But he nailed this one.

Sinners. This is a daring movie. It’s inventive and thoughtful and metaphorical and just new. I don’t think it all works, especially the end. I might give the Oscar to Ryan Coogler anyway because this is a deeply creative film, and I believe directors who pull off something less polished but interesting deserve the accolades. The main reason I wouldn’t give this film the Oscar is my biggest surprise: I don’t think Michael B. Jordan is good in it.

This discovery has been a shock for me, someone who has loved him since his stunning performance in The Wire, who adored him even his small roles (Lie to Me). Who watched a superhero movie for him, loved Creed because of him. But here’s the thing: If you’re playing twins, I should be able to tell them apart. And I was so far from being able to do so that I nearly wrote down which person was wearing what so that I’d stop confusing the characters. Consider this: Tatiana Maslany played so many clones in Orphan Black that I couldn’t count them, and when acting as the main four clones, I could tell when one of them was pretending to be another. Jordan is nearly always good, but I found his performance dull here, even if he hadn’t muddled the storyline by not building enough distinctions between the two men. All the other performances — especially those of Wunmi Mosaku and Delroy Lindo — are memorable.

Sentimental Value. I really loved this film. Affecting, understated and simple, with characters so believable to me — especially the relationship between the two sisters — that I instantly felt invested. Stellan Skarsgård is great in it, even better than Sean Penn with his brilliant portrayal of the villain in One Battle After Another. Renate Reinsve is moving and subtle in it, but I liked the performance of Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas even better. She plays the more grounded sister who is trying to keep the family together. She’s lovely in it.

Marty Supreme. I don’t know how to feel about this film. Timothée Chalamet is mesmerizing in the role, but as a movie, I don’t know. It gets boring in the middle, and I’m not sure what we come to in the end. The very end is terribly cliché. There’s sadly little ping pong. All the character’s hustles flow together and aren’t really hustles at all. The real person the film is based on seems far more interesting than the character drawn here. I enjoyed most of it, but I’m not sure I can call this a good film.

Blue Moon. I enjoyed this little character study. It’s more of a play than a film, but Ethan Hawke — who has never been my favorite star — is quite good in the role. As far as character studies, this is far more interesting than Marty Supreme.

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You. I’m a big fan of this little fever dream of a film, and Rose Byrne’s was the most stunning performance of all of those I saw this year. More nuanced than Buckley’s and Reinsve’s. Better than any of the men’s performances. By turns funny and heartbreaking and deadpan, Byrne’s acting is something to watch. She won’t win. But she should.

So there you have it: my views on the nominees I’ve seen so far. I’d love to hear others’ thoughts!

Share
Posted in: 2020s films, Action & Sports Films, Comedies (film), Drama (film), Oscars, Uncategorized Tagged: Hamnet sucks, Oscar picks, Rose Byrne deserves the Oscar

Thank You, Academy, for Not Infuriating Me

03/02/2025 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 4 Comments
Picture of cat from the animated movie Flow.

Tonight I am not mad after the Oscars. I do not feel compelled to read movie reviews that share my negative view of the winner. I do not feel the need to read anything. I feel at peace. Tonight after the first Oscars in some time, I can actually sleep.

I liked Anora. I loved Flow. While I didn’t agree with all the choices, nothing (from my knowledge of the films I did see) was an out-an-out horrible choice.

Thank you, Academy, for not pissing me off this year. I really need the sleep.

Share
Posted in: 2020s films, Oscars Tagged: Oscars

Challengers (2024) Is a Bad Movie

01/23/2025 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 2 Comments
Zendaya in Challengers (2024)

Sometimes you see an Oscars list, and you’re happy to see not what IS on it, but what isn’t. Some idealistic prognosticators theorized that this buzzy little tennis film called Challengers (2024) would get a bid. After all, its music had won a Golden Globe.

The only thing more annoying than the film, I can safely say, is that music.

I watched the movie out of lethargy. Anora (2024) had just completed, and Challengers started playing. I watched for a bit, idly thinking, “This has to get more interesting.”

Forty-five minutes in, I thought, “No, it really doesn’t” and turned it off.

I turned the movie on again a week later, committed to discovering what others saw in it, and can now say I liked it–the last five minutes, that is. I yawned through every minute of the rest.

So here’s what I saw:

There are some scenes of tennis, in which I had no stake.

There were some characters, so thinly developed I felt nothing for them–not even dislike. They reminded me of the fly that got into my home the other day after surviving the cold. It buzzed here. It buzzed there. No one could say why. I did watch it. I watched Zendaya too. She’s pretty. I liked her clothes. She flitted here; she flitted there. She frowned a lot, sometimes in sunglasses.

There are two other characters. There’s some implication they all want to have sex. The preview suggests that, as does the brief scene it captures. Actually, they don’t. They don’t seem to like anything, including sex. A sandwich is eaten with more relish than they gaze at each other. The sandwich was my second favorite part.

The tennis was at least more active than the characters’ faces. Right when I would wonder, “What is the point of this?” some loud, abrupt, terrible music would come in, but only after a very awkward pause, kind of like an angry teenager turning on speakers full blast to drown out parents, but a teenager unaccustomed to how speakers work. Then the music would go away for no reason, and then come back. Much like my fly. EDM is bad enough at any time, but I’ve never experienced a less artful use of music in any film, at any time. Apparently, this is what wins an original score award at the Golden Globes these days.

And besides the last five minutes, which I did enjoy?

I preferred my fly.

Share
Posted in: 2020s films, Action & Sports Films, Anti-Romance films, Drama (film), Oscars, Romance (films) Tagged: bad films, Challengers, Overrated films, Razzie potential, tennis films, Zendaya

Recent Posts

  • Bite-Sized Film Reviews
  • How You Know Your Friends Know You
  • National Classic Movie Day!
  • Colbert’s Midnight (1939), Rom-Com Magic
  • Say Anything Is The Sure Thing’s Lame Younger Brother

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Categories

  • 1920s films
  • 1930s films
  • 1940s films
  • 1950s films
  • 1960s films
  • 1970s films
  • 1980s films
  • 1990-current films
  • 2020s films
  • Action & Sports Films
  • Anti-Romance films
  • Blogathons
  • Childfree
  • Comedies (film)
  • Drama (film)
  • Feminism
  • Femme fatales
  • Film Noir/Crime/Thriller & Mystery
  • Gloriously Silly Scenes
  • Horror
  • Humor
  • Mae West Moments
  • Musicals and dancing films
  • Oscars
  • Random
  • Romance (films)
  • Romantic Comedies (film)
  • The Moment I Fell for
  • Turn My Sister into Classic Movie Fan
  • TV & Pop Culture
  • Uncategorized
Share
Classic Movie Blog Hub Member

Recent Comments

  • Valerie Madsen on 1946’s The Razor’s Edge: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
  • leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com on How You Know Your Friends Know You
  • Silver Screenings on How You Know Your Friends Know You
  • leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com on How You Know Your Friends Know You
  • Classic Film And TV Corner on How You Know Your Friends Know You

Archives

  • November 2026
  • June 2026
  • May 2026
  • March 2026
  • November 2025
  • September 2025
  • May 2025
  • March 2025
  • January 2025
  • November 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • May 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • September 2022
  • July 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • December 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • July 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • December 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • September 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • November 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2026 Cary Grant Won't Eat You.

Church WordPress Theme by themehall.com