Random | Cary Grant Won't Eat You

Turning My Sister into a Classic Movie Fan, Bout 2: Abject Failure

01/15/2016 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 10 Comments

For anyone who is interested, a long while ago, I made a bet with my sister: I would watch Breaking Bad, and she would watch ten classics. When I reminded her that she hadn’t honored our bet while I’d made it through four seasons, she said, “Yeah, but Breaking Bad is good. And you like it.”

Classic movie fans, please weep with me now.

A year after nagging my sister into watching the first classic film on my list, I forced her into a second just after Christmas. (I had to be present for her to watch, you see.) As before, she drifted off multiple times during the movie. For the first film, Body and Soul, I could understand. It was slow, and the hour was late. But this time, we watched a movie earlier, and this time, Rachel was watching this woman:

MaeWestImnoAngel
I mean, who can’t be entertained by MAE WEST?

My husband, who had urged I’m No Angel be the film I chose, watched Rachel in action and said, “Sorry, Leah, you need to give up. She’s not that tired.”

He was right. Until Rachel is more receptive to the possibility of liking classic film, I’m wasting my time. Naturally, I was feeling down, but shortly afterward, my friend watched the same film. She told me her husband said, “I give it 20 minutes,” and then was so amused that he was imitating West’s walk afterward. This is the kind of love I hope newbies to West will feel. So while I’m giving up on converting my sister to classic film, I am sharing her list for the hesitant watcher among your friends and family. But learn from my example: Make sure you choose someone who IS receptive. (You can, of course, check out this wonderful blogathon too). The list for Rachel has gone through many versions, and I’m cutting my first choice. But the other films are good starting movies for others; thanks to all of you who offered suggestions for Rachel in previous posts. Here the movies are (in no particular order):

I’m No Angel
The Third Man
Smith Goes to Washington
M
The Awful Truth
Scarface (1932)
On the Waterfront
The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934)
Notorious

I wish you all greater luck than I had. Hopefully, at some point, my sister will change her incredibly stubborn mind all on her own, and give these wonderful films a try.

Thanks to Love Letters to Old Hollywood!!

01/08/2016 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 6 Comments

Thank you, Michaela, for nominating me for a Liebster. And thank you even more for your wonderful blog, and all of the hours of enjoyment I’ve gained from it.

Here are my answers to Michaela’s great questions. She has posted her own answers here:

1. What’s your favorite thing that you’ve posted, or one of your favorites?

I’m attached to my post on Harold Ramis & Preston Sturges, just because I feel so strongly about comedy being underappreciated.

2. If you could change anything about classic movies, what would that be?

Michaela, you’ve hit it with the issues w/race. Racial stereotyping is really the only reason I’ll concede when people object to classic film. I think the 2nd thing I’d change would be the Production Code. What a glorious path we were headed on, right before it, and how many more people would watch classic film had it never happened.

3. Do you have a favorite modern day actor?

Bill Murray. I love his acting. I love his soul. I am simply happy he’s in this world.

4. Favorite modern day actress?

I don’t think I can pick a favorite, but I love Kate Winslet.

5. Tom and Jerry or Looney Tunes?

Looney Tunes. So clever.

6. What do you wish you had known when you first started blogging?

To be patient. To trust that with time, my blog would actually appear in search engines.

7. Do you have a favorite pet from a classic film?

The dog in The Awful Truth. Who else could accompany Cary Grant on the piano so perfectly?

8. Who is your favorite character actor?

I adore Eugene Pallette’s froggy voice.

9. What’s your favorite holiday and why?

Halloween. Because it’s all about silliness and fun and candy. Because it has no religious or ethnic associations (at least not anymore). Because it has no emotional weight to it, so everyone can enjoy it instead of mourning loved ones they’ve lost. And because I have an irrational love for costumes, and own quite a few of them. It’s a glorious holiday.

10. Do you have a favorite episode of I Love Lucy? I don’t! I regret to say I’ve never gotten into her show, though I love her. I think it’s because I find Desi Arnaz smug. I just can’t get over it.

11. Favorite holiday film?

The Ref is my favorite. It’s hilarious. For classics, I have a soft spot for It’s a Wonderful Life and Remember the Night, of course.

Nominees/Rec

Since I listed many classic film bloggers the last time someone kindly nominated me for a Liebster, I’d just like to skip the nomination and instead give a shout out to Girls Do Film, BNoirDetoir and Silver Screenings, who were not on my list last time only because they’d already received nominations. I just want you to check out their posts this week, which are amazing, as always.

11 More Facts about Me

To avoid repetition from the previous Liebster, all of these facts are related to the past 30 days:

1. I have watched the fitness parody of Adele’s “Hello” at least five times in the past week.

2. I want all classic movie fans to stop what they’re doing and watch the “Uptown Funk”-backed tribute to classic dance. I don’t care if you’ve seen it. It’ll make you happy to see it again.

3. My memoir about my aunt (also a classic movie fan) is ready for an agent. I hope you will all keep your fingers crossed for me.

4. I just spent many hours today rereading a spy novel I despised to avoid my writer’s block. And then I read reviews of it to discover others who hated it too. I am not proud of this fact.

5. I purchased a classic film poster of The Third Man for my office today. It’s perfect.

6. I just returned from a trip to my native Indiana. I had a wonderful time visiting with friends and family but experienced a sad setback in my attempt to turn my sister into a classic movie fan. I will blog about this travesty shortly.

7. While my sister has let me down again classic movie wise, I did just convert a good friend’s husband to Mae West love. Yeah!

8. I just finished Errol Flynn’s My Wicked, Wicked Ways. I’m simultaneously fascinated and feeling in need of therapy. That whole slaver segment messed with my head. I’m hoping it was the fictional part of his bio.

9. I have watched my first mystery series with subtitles (The Swedish/Danish TV series, The Bridge), and am afraid I’ve discovered a whole new method of procrastination. It was great.

10. I resisted watching Going My Way. I told my mother I was way too cynical for Bing Crosby. She said it was a classic movie, and I liked classic movies, so I should give it a try. I did, and I liked it. I stand corrected. I am not too cynical for Bing Crosby.

11. I’m very happy about Sylvester Stallone being nominated for a Golden Globe.

5 Classic Movie Resolutions

01/03/2016 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 6 Comments

My regular resolutions are never met (or are so ambiguous I can’t tell if they have been), so this year I’m setting some for this blog. Who knows? I may even honor them. Here goes:

More noir. I have so many great sources for recs that I’m not sure why I don’t watch or review more noir than I do. Perhaps since I eat Chandler, Hammett, and MacDonald books like candy, I reserve my film time for lighter fare. But given all the fascinating connections between recent TV shows & noir I’ve noticed just this year, I’m neglecting far too many writing opportunities.
Lesser-known classics. I rely heavily on Amazon Instantly. This choice is idiotic considering the limited scope of their fare and my extensive access to free sources, including Sister Celluloid.
More blogathons, including, hopefully, one I host.
Fun with series. Obviously, the Mae West Moments will continue because…Mae West! Given how much I’ve enjoyed my time with West, I’m dreaming up more series.
Jeff Rapsis Time. I’ve viewed silents It and The Last Command with live music, but when someone as talented as Rapsis is creating musical scores near me, why am I not attending silents more often?

So that’s it! My hopefully manageable goals for classic film viewing & writing in 2016. What are yours?

Long Films: Why Hollywood Is Failing Viewers

11/22/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 16 Comments

I love going to the theater, getting my popcorn, staring at that big screen. I look forward to the lights going down, the previews. But lately, I find myself opting to stay home. Not because the “golden age” of TV makes me prefer HBOathons. Not because of the ticket prices. I simply don’t have 4 hours to spare, and apparently, that’s what I need to allot to see an action film today–even a comedy.

Take a look at current offerings:

Spectre: 2 hours, 28 minutes*
The Martian: 2 hours, 24 minutes
Bridge of Spies: 2 hours, 21 minutes
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2: 2 hours, 17 minutes

Factor in the time it takes to get to and from the theater, park, get tickets, and find a seat, and you’ve now lost up to five hours of your day. It isn’t a nice break in the day; it is your day. Talk about awkward first dates: Hello, I just met you. Now let’s spend 5 hours together. I know I’m not alone in my irritation about this trend. And since so many of us spend hours sitting in front of computers, that much time in stiff seats isn’t exactly what the chiropractor ordered either.

What I find baffling about these bloated times is that editing techniques have improved dramatically in the last 90 years. I can trim a film on my computer. Why not use these techniques, or, I don’t know, hire an editor for the screenplay? And if Hollywood really wants to compete with television, is length really the only asset at its disposal? Might not convenience play a part in dwindling ticket sales? 3-5 hours of time to spare is anything but manageable for the average single person, much less a family.

Drawn-out action films particularly offend me. How long can the fevered pitch of an action film keep you enthralled? In the celebrated 60s Bond flicks, such as Dr. No and Goldfinger, the stories took an hour and 50 minutes. Spectre, the most recent Bond offering, is almost 40 minutes longer.

I know one could argue that dramas demand length. While I agree that certain stories are exceptional, for dramas as a whole, economy is part of the art. Preston Sturges managed a biopic in an hour and 23 minutes. Citizen Kane, the Orson Welles masterpiece largely credited as the best film of all time, clocks in at just under 2 hours. In 1935’s Oscar-nominated Les Misérables, the narrative of Jean Valjean was conveyed in an hour and 48 minutes; by 1998, it had expanded to 2 hours and 14 minutes, and by 2012, the tale had reached 2 hours and 38 minutes. The latter version being a musical is no excuse. Disney manages.

Even comedies have been breaking the 2-hour mark in the past few years. This Is 40 (2012), a Judd Apatow production, was a whopping 2 hours and 14 minutes. More recent fare isn’t quite that bloated, but The Intern, out now, passes the 2 hour mark. Why does such a simple story need 121 minutes, when the Marx Brothers could make cinema history in 68, and Mae West a brilliant period comedy in 66?

Among 1945’s Oscar nominees, only one film hit the bloated timeline of current films, Anchors Aweigh. Have you heard of it? I didn’t think so. The Lost Weekend, Mildred Pierce, and Spellbound all managed their plots in under 2 hours, and The Bells of St. Mary’s just over. A decade before, the 12 nominees were all under 2 hours and 20 minutes, and several well under 2 hours, including a drama, John Ford’s The Informer (91 minutes). Among Sight & Sound’s best five films of all time, one, Sunrise, is just 94 minutes. Vertigo, its top choice, is just over 2 hours. Eighty years after The Informer, with all the technology and years of models at their disposal, Hollywood can’t manage to do just a little cutting?

Last year’s nominees for the Oscar included several beautifully edited, economical films, including The Grand Budapest Hotel and Whiplash. Here’s hoping that trend continues, and that Hollywood starts to recognize that we movie lovers don’t prefer TV; we simply don’t have Rip Van Winkle‘s time to spare.

*lengths from IMDB

Elle King Wrote Mae West’s Theme Song

11/14/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com Leave a Comment

When my husband told me he’d heard Mae West’s theme song on the radio, I asked for an explanation; instead, he played me Elle King’s “Ex’s and Oh’s”:

“Ex’s and the oh, oh, oh’s they haunt me
Like ghosts they want me to make ’em all
They won’t let go
Ex’s and oh’s”*

And of course, I understood. Mae West could have written those very words. In every West film, and in her own descriptions of her life, all the men are after her…

And she’s not exactly clingy with them: “All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.”

In “Ex’s and Oh’s”, all men want the singer because she’s “the best baby that they never gotta keep.” They “always wanna come, but they never wanna leave.” Sounds like West, huh?: “Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for years.”

Of course, when I heard the song, I instantly pictured Mae West surrounded by a throng of half-naked men. Apparently, King had the same thought when planning her video:

It’s hard to describe just how funny this video is: men wrestling over her, an obsessive climbing over rocks to get to her, two models on a see saw, Elle spraying nearly naked men with a hose, her kicking one out of a car because she’s done with him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a video so blatantly objectifying men–even Madonna’s. My favorite? The underwear-clad headstanders she dances around as she plays guitar:

The singer profiles certain affairs to illustrate her commitment phobia: “I had a summer lover down in New Orleans/Kept him warm in the winter, left him frozen in the spring.” The men longing for her are “climbing over mountains and a-sailing over seas.” Like West, who characterized marriage as a “last resort,” there’s no celebration of eternal love here–just of eternal lust.

King is more than just a performer. She co-wrote the song, just as West wrote her screenplays. The two temptresses even resemble each other: both voluptuous, blue-eyed blondes with lovely, pale skin:

I don’t know that West was one of King’s inspirations, but certainly, the two are united in spirit. I hope King’s enjoying West’s films right now, and that all of you West admirers check out this catchy, clever song, and the hilarious video that goes with it.

This post is part of my monthly West moment series.

*Yes, it bothers me too that a writer would think these apostrophes correct. Try to ignore them.

5 Classic Film Costume Ideas–& What They’ll Be Mistaken for

10/27/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 2 Comments

Inspired a fashion blogger’s posts on Halloween options, I started thinking about potential costumes from classic film. I have recs for those of you stuck for ideas. Sure, your peers who don’t know the classics will mistake the character you’re playing, but if the costume is sharp, fun, or clever, who cares? Here are five suggestions:

Gilda‘s Carnivàle Outfit

The heroine’s (Rita Hayworth’s) stylish get-up has two major advantages:

It’s fabulous.
It has wonderful accessories:

You’ll Likely Be Mistaken for: Zorro’s love interest

Jezebel‘s Red Dress

Who hasn’t wanted to wear the dress that stops everyone short? And what gown in film had more impact than the one that branded Julie (Bette Davis) a fallen woman in front of her whole society? Plus, the dress is gorgeous.

You’ll Likely Be Mistaken for: A devil without her pitchfork, a bad angel sans wings, or just a gal who wants an excuse to wear an Oscars dress

The Disastrous Dress from Rebecca

The gown is a bit frilly, but putting on Rebecca’s character for the creepiest night of the year? Yeah, you could get into that. Of course, you could play it meek too, acting as the narrator, since both pick the same dress for the masquerade. Up to you. Some crinoline, a hat, some flowery details–you’ll have it.

You’ll Likely Be Mistaken for: Scarlett O’Hara (It’s a poofy dress. Who else could you be?)

Phyllis Dietrichson from Double Indemnity

This is the budget option. As any smart Halloween shopper will tell you, you should skip the all-in-one packages in the costume store, and take a tour down the accessory aisle. Anyone can discover a sweater set or fussy dress at home or in the vintage shop. And it isn’t hard to find a wretchedly, embarrassingly bad blonde wig for less than twenty bucks, or some gloriously tacky jewelry. You might even have some from last year’s festivities. Just don’t forget those crazy feminine shoes–and, of course, the anklet:

The best part? If you wear a wig–any wig–on Halloween, you really can’t go wrong.

You’ll Likely Be Mistaken for: George Washington or his wife Martha in modern gear (as was Barbara Stanwyck).

Shanghai Lily

If you don’t gush over the fashions in Shanghai Express, head straight to the optometrist. Prostitutes in ’30s Shanghai had quite the budget, if Lily (Marlene Dietrich) is any indication. She’s costumed to the hilt in boas, feathered caps, furs, long gloves, and silk. For any woman who wants glamour in her life, Lily’s style is salivation material.

You’ll Likely Be Mistaken for: A generic femme fatale (close!)

There you have it. Five options for those seeking Halloween inspiration. What are favorites of yours?

My Rita Hayworth Birthday Wish: Everybody Dance

10/17/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 4 Comments

“Whatever you write about me, don’t make it sad.” – Rita Hayworth

In honor of the Love Goddess’s birthday, I won’t write about her tempestuous love life, her sad past/final years, or her scorching appearance onscreen. I’ll keep it simple: Rita Hayworth is one of the most expressive dancers I’ve ever witnessed, and what she conveyed, over and over again, was joy: The exhilaration of movement, the thrill of twirling and leaping and tapping and sweating. Ginger Rogers showed how lovely a body could be with every twist of her torso; Fred Astaire stretched the limits of the art form, as did Eleanor Powell and Gene Kelly. But none of them made me want to jump on stage and join them like Rita does. Talented as she is, she doesn’t wow me nearly as much as she woos me. Come on! she calls. This is so much fun.

So in honor of her birthday, take a leap, do a jig, do-si-do, tap your feet, pirouette, moonwalk. Even a bit of twerking or the Macarena will do. Don’t worry about your skill–or the lack of it. Just listen to Rita, and dance.

The Sexy Men of the Highlands: The Three Stooges?

09/20/2015 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 2 Comments

Having spent Saturday at the New Hampshire Highland Games & Festival, I’ve got bagpipe music still ringing in my ears, and tartan on the brain. I witnessed feats of strength that included FLIPPING an 130-pound log. Some star from Game of Thrones (aka the Mountain) even set a world record throwing a weight over a high bar, apparently a repeat performance. It looked about as effortless as the rest of us tossing a ping pong ball.

Naturally, I’ve been scanning for Scottish movies in hopes of extending my memories of men in kilts, especially since I don’t have time just now to be swept into Volume 2 of Outlander (whose Jamie, naturally, had a cardboard statue at the Fraser clan tent). Encountering an entry called “Hot Scots” on Wikipedia, I assumed some early Chippendalish, Magic Mike embarrassment was to be found, only to discover that the entry was referencing an episode of The Three Stooges.

Now I don’t think “hot” when I hear the names Moe, Larry, and Shemp. I don’t think I’m alone in that. But, like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers after them, the three sure did excel at making fun of themselves, and that made the episode worth a look.

The plot of the episode is about as flimsy as you’d guess: the stooges decide they want a job at Scotland Yard, and have mistaken a garden cleanup employment ad for an investigative one. After fouling up that simple task, they discover a posting calling for detectives in Scotland, and equip themselves with kilts and Mcs in front of their names for the job. After hearing their accents, their new client inquires what part of Scotland Shemp is from. Moe explains that Shemp is from the south, “below the McMason-McDixon line.”

Their client wants his possessions protected as he’s off at a clan meeting, and of course, the stooges utterly fail to notice his entire staff taking everything he owns. There’s even a Scooby Doo moment when Shemp fails to notice a masked robber isn’t Larry.

And another when Moe thinks he’s still dancing with the client’s comely assistant, and is actually doing a reel with her scary accomplice.

The episode, of course, is saturated with silly sound effects and the stooges whacking each other with sticks and clubs. I’m not a huge stooges fan–their humor is a little too exclusively physical for me–but somehow, the style is so suitable for the weird way we celebrate the Scottish, and the many spills reminded me of my favorite scene from Mike Myers’ comedies: The infamous “We have a piper down!” wedding clip from So I Married an Axe Murder.

Give “Hot Scots” a try if you want a break from work or the news this week. You can find it on Amazon Instant, The Three Stooges Collection, 1946-48, Episode 15, and of course, YouTube. I think we can all use some silliness about now…

Confession: Four Great Movies I’ve Never Seen, with Excuses

11/07/2014 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com 8 Comments

I am unashamed of my pathetic store of musical knowledge. I actually listen to—and like–the radio. And not the satellite kind. Frankly, if I can’t sing or dance to a song, I’m not interested. Riffs, jamming, orchestras, Bonnaroo—not for me. A Pat Benatar singalong? Sign me up.

It’s also rare for me to confess any embarrassment about novels I haven’t read, probably because I’m enough of a bookworm that gaps in my education are just opportunities for more fun, not sources of embarrassment.

But movies? I feel squeamish when I’ve missed the greats, and tend to dodge discovery. I’m not sure why.

Today, therefore, I’m going to be brave and confess to four very big omissions from my film education. I may turn red as I write, but you won’t have to see it. Here we go….

Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

My excuse is the obvious one—too long. Over 3 ½ hours? Who has the time?

Umm, I do. I managed to watch a season of The Wire in a weekend, all episodes of the new Arrested Development in a day. The BBC Pride and Prejudice miniseries I practically have memorized, and it’s almost 100 minutes longer than this apparent masterpiece. I even own the film in VHS format (still in cellophane). That’s how long I’ve been peddling this rationalization to myself.

The Godfather: Part II (1974)

I saw The Godfather at a movie party many years ago. It was in my early days at a new job, and I remember being embarrassed that I was the only one there watching it for the first time. I left before the second movie, shy about my older peers’ superior knowledge and my general lack of proficiency at small talk of any kind. (It really sucks sometimes to be twenty-three.) I kept feeling afterward like I’d somehow missed the window for seeing this movie, much as I still do about reading Jack Kerouac’s On the Road (who wants to read about youthful angst and self-importance past their early twenties?)

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)

I love Humphrey Bogart. I’m intrigued by gold mining, have read numerous novels about the Gold Rush. Films and novels about breakdowns due to avarice fascinate me. I have put this film into my VCR multiple times, and then not played it. Why? I guess it’s mood. I never seem to think to myself, “Yes, today, let’s watch a movie about people turning into monsters for money.”

Duck Soup (1933)

I taught a humor class last semester. I have read Irving Brecher’s account of writing for the Marx brothers in And Here’s the Kicker. I’ve seen—and liked—clips of these siblings in action. I have spotted this movie on Netflix streaming. Yet I have never hit play. My only explanation is that I’m saving it; it’s a big source of relief I’m anxious about spending prematurely. I am reserving the film for a particularly grim day, the day I screw up at work, wreck my car, and make my husband, friends, and family cry. Then, then I’ll need some Marx brothers. Why just waste the film on a day it’s raining?

Perhaps now that I’ve made my confession, I’ll finally view three of these films, but I think I will save the Marx brothers. A present like that shouldn’t be squandered, right?

Facing Your Black-and-White Fears

01/16/2014 by leah@carygrantwonteatyou.com Leave a Comment

You are petrified of classic movies, afraid you will

Be ostracized by your Sharknado-loving friends, who’ll ask whether you’re planning to throw out your Madonna or Jay-Z for Beethoven next.
Drift into an alternative Pleasantville universe in which everything is in ugly shades of gray—including you.
Start dressing like you’re raiding the Dowager Countess’s wardrobe, which is obviously even worse than Barry Manilow’s.

Maybe you tried old movies once, such as Citizen Kane or your mother’s beloved Gidget (big mistakes), and decided classics weren’t for you. Or perhaps instead of taking a risk on the unknown, you chose the Redbox pick of the week instead.

Not to worry. I’m not a classic film expert. But what I do know is how to find films that are fun to watch, whether my John Cusack-Molly Ringwald-Chevy Chase favorites from the 80s, Coen brothers anything, or the classic films that have brought me equal—usually more—enjoyment. And I can help you find them too.